well hello...

it's been a while since my last post, but here are the long and short of things.
-i have cried myself to sleep every night racked with guilt and regret.
-i started smoking weed again to deal with problems (which now i am abstaining from)
- the guys i like still don't like me and want to have nothing to do with me unless it's sexual (and most times; not even then).
- i went to me and shane's special place today and was reminded at every turn that i miss him and wish he was there to experience it with me.
- i have a gum infection and need to get it treated asap.
- that i am alone and love will not come back to me anytime soon.
- that there is nothing more painful than losing someone to suicide.
- that i need to get my shit together and pick up the pieces for the umpteenth time in a row.
- that i love me more than anyone else.

that is all
-jason aka buck foston